


Enjoying The Haze

by Halcyon_Morpho_Menelaus



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Boys Kissing, Fluff, M/M, New Relationship, Sexual Tension, Slightly Resolved Sexual Tension, Takes place at the end of the Female Titan arc, very slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-15
Updated: 2014-01-15
Packaged: 2018-01-08 21:13:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1137462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Halcyon_Morpho_Menelaus/pseuds/Halcyon_Morpho_Menelaus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Immediately after Annie's "capture," Eren lies in bed torturing himself with thoughts of her betrayal and what that means for his perceptions of the life he has left. He is torn between lamenting over what has happened and his uncertainty over the new, much more intimate, relationship he has developed with Captain Levi. Confused and more than a little bit lost, Eren seeks comfort and solace in the one man he has chosen to believe will never betray him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Enjoying The Haze

**Author's Note:**

> Written as a gift! Unfortunately, there's no smut, but there are copious amounts of sexual tension and heavy kissing.

           There was never any comfort in the military. There was never any gentleness. There was never anyone to assure you that as long as you did “your very best,” you were fine. There was no one to fuss and huff about your safety or whether or not you were eating properly. There was no one to rub your head or put a blanket over your shoulders or whisper how proud they were of you when they thought you had fallen asleep. There was no softness, there was no love, and there were no parents.

               Now, that was not to say that the commanding officers were cruel or negligent to the more personal needs of their charges. All of the Survey Corps officers Eren had the fortune to meet were sincere, brave, rational, and every bit the role models he had dreamt of as a child. Peculiar role models, true, who displayed the former characteristics in spades, but they all lived up to the bare minimum of his expectations nonetheless. Yet for all their leadership, training and consideration for their troops, the officers could not be considered anything close to the special type of comfort parents were. He had never gotten the chance to truly felt any softness from his superiors, but it had never bothered Eren before. The burning in all human hearts that longed for reassurance had never perturbed him, because he had always had it. Not the traditional form of it that had been stolen from him by the monsters that lived outside the walls, but a substitute that was good enough to never truly make him feel the former’s loss.

               Propped up, his back ramrod straight against the headboard, Eren turned his head from the far wall to the desk beside his bed. His eyes lazily traced the sharp edges of sunlight mimicking the window frame as he thought through the same things that had been tormenting him for days.

               From the moment they had saved what little freedom Mikasa had left, she had been his sister. She was just as much his flesh and blood as his father and mother. Armin had always been their friend, and after the Fall of Shiganshina those feelings had not only solidified, but grew. The three of them had all been a family, and nothing was going to stop them from carrying out their dreams. They were going to stay together, they were going to slaughter each and every last titan, and they would see the outside world together. Wolves uncaged, they would travel to the farthest ends of the world until they managed to truly become free. That was it - that was all Eren had ever wanted, but Annie had thrown everything he had ever felt about family into question. She had dismantled everything. She had wrecked it without a care in the world and made him realize things about himself he could not help but view in varying degrees of awe, self-disgust and horror.

He had lost his parents, but he had a family all the same. A new kind of family.

               Annie had been a part of that family.

               She was most certainly not a part of it in the way Mikasa or Armin was - not even close. She was not a part of _that_ inner circle Eren kept close to his heart, but Annie had been a part of his new family all the same. Everyone in the 104th squad was. Even with how neutrally he viewed Ymir, how strange he found Sasha, how much of an obnoxious prick he found Jean, nothing could truly negate the feelings he had cultivated with them over the years.

               There was no comfort where they had lived, but there was solace. There was peace in the fact that everyone was going through the same things he was: the same fears and the same difficulties. He had stayed up late with all of them talking about their feelings, and no matter how dark their conversations became someone, somehow, always managed to say something to make the mood lighter, and even bring a smile to the trainees’ faces. No matter what, Eren had always known that his comrades could count on each other. They might chew each other out afterwards for being careless, but they would always help each other. They were all humanity’s last hope, they were military soldiers, and they were friends.

               _Hell,_ Eren reflected tiredly, _even after she’d joined the Military Police, Annie still considered us her friends. What else could have possibly made her agree to Armin’s ridiculously suspicious request to smuggle me outside of the city, if she didn’t feel_ some _kind of sentiment?_ Eren sighed wearily and slowly closed his eyes. He wondered for the thousandth time if Annie had ever really considered herself their friend. _She had to, but if she did, then why…_

He wanted to know the why more than anything, even more than he wanted revenge for those she had killed. He wanted to know what was so precious to her that she would betray them. Did their bonds mean nothing to her, for her to throw them away so easily? Was their family, their friendship, really so delicate? Or was _he_ the idiot? Was _he_ the stupid one for trusting her, for still believing in the girl had spent every other day with for over three years learning her unique combat styles? When she had shown them her Titan form, Armin had turned on her, Jean had screamed at him to get it together, and Mikasa had been one step from dragging the Titan out of him by force, and yet he had still balked at attacking Annie. In the end he had thrown away shards of his humanity and forced himself to transform, but even then he had not discarded enough to bring himself to kill her.  

               The very worst part, Eren thought miserably, was that even after she had smashed apart everything he thought he knew, he still would not be able to kill her. Not her or anyone else from their trainee squad.  

               _So where do I look,_ he thought with frustration and clear traces of bitterness. Where was his assurance? Where was his solace? Where was the thing that had so masterfully disguised itself as comfort for the past three years he had never felt his heart aching?

               A certain deep, impenetrable gaze flashed across his mind’s eye, and their image brought familiar, gentle warmth to Eren’s chest that he always hoped never crept to his face. Corporal Levi. The Corporal was not family, but over the course of his time in the man’s squad, he had become something much more intimate to Eren.

               The feelings Eren shared with him were much more intensely acute than those he shared with Mikasa and Armin. What he shared with the latter two ran deep, born out of years of trust, understanding and friendship. Eren felt his relationship with them and his place in it as intuitively as he knew his own name. His feelings for the Corporal, however, were considerably different. For starters, they were absolutely eclipsing in their intensity.  They were passionate, new, and the very idea of them made his heart pick up its pace despite the danger those feelings posed for not only him, but everyone around him.

               He had crossed a forbidden boundary with the Corporal. They had violated not only the moral restrictions of their world, but the sanctity of their stations in the military. They had done nothing obscene, but they had still chosen to travel a very dangerous road together that a part of Eren, and what he suspected was an even larger part of Levi, knew they should not have begun. He knew it, and even though they had not quite found their footing in the relationship yet, Eren would not have changed his decision to be with the Corporal for anything. He simply could not help himself. He was terribly excited about their new, secretive adventure, and he was bursting to tell someone – anyone – about their relationship, but it was out of the question. What would he tell him, anyway? Neither he nor Levi had labeled what they were doing as anything, because, even though he had memorized every scene with acute detail, he could not think of anything that could accurately define what they had shared up until that point.

               Strange, unfamiliar, passionately simmering feelings had been whispered to each other in heated, close breaths at dawn. A hand had cupped the base of another’s neck and tilted it as warm words flowed over trembling lips. A gentle but firm kiss in the night had traded breaths for unbearable heat and left a young Titan-shifter craving something he could not put into words. A sweet, flighty kiss had been shared at dusk, and again the following morning after a night of chaste touches and slow breathing. A much longer and hotter kiss had occurred in the shadow of the woods and left the junior of the two begging, in almost inaudible growls and hitched breaths, for something that the elder one could not give. _Not now_ , he had said, _not this soon_.

               Each of those carefully catalogued events he could not stop thinking about showed no signs of stopping, but Eren still could not figure out what exactly that made him and the Corporal. What _were_ they?  Technically, they were nothing, neither in verbal acknowledgement or official proclamations. They were nothing, but surely, Eren thought resolutely, they were _something._ They had to be for those things to happen. Unless, of course, they weren’t? _What if this is just like--_

               Eren cut off his own thoughts with a loud, frustrated sigh. It had been like this for _days_. For _days_ he had been alternating back and forth from bouts of misery for his inability to effectively take care of Annie, budding exhilaration for whatever was happening with him and the Corporal and fear that just like Annie, the Corporal would tear out all his perceptions and toss them to the wind.

 _Corporal Levi is not like that, though. He’s taken care of me, and I don’t think…well he has more reason than Annie ever had to betray me, but I don’t think he would. Levi…Levi...._ He was not thinking critically or even logically. Even though it never quite managed to bring him out of his dark thoughts, the very notion of the Corporal was distracting to him. _Levi._ Even in his mind it sounded strange to say the name so casually. The Corporal had asked that Eren call him by his name privately, when there was never the slightest chance someone might overhear, but even then Eren had difficulty with it. Half of the problem was sheer embarrassment from saying something he considered intimate given their past relationship, and another part of it was personal awkwardness. He wanted to say the Corporal’s name, and he occasionally experimented by saying it to himself in a soft whisper, but it did not do anything to stop the blush that always came to his face every time he said it to the older man.

               Eren lowered himself down into the bed. He did not have the energy to pull the covers up. Though he had healed physically, the doctors had insisted that he rest for a week or two more before he could even think about going back to his military duties, whatever they might be now that everything was over.

               _No,_ Eren thought quickly, _everything isn’t over, just different_. Hopelessly, irreplaceably different, and there was nothing he could do to go back and change everything. He had made his choices, and in a week he would go out and deal with the consequences of them. Before he could once again crush his mind under the full force of what little he had left and all the things he had to face, his mercifully fell to sleep.

-        -

               The gentle clink of clay pottery being set upon the desk roused Eren from his sleep. He was not tired, nor had he been tired when he went to sleep, so his gaze was clear when he opened his eyes. Beside his bed stood Corporal Levi in his usual white pants, long-sleeved grey shirt and 3D maneuver gear straps zigzagging across his lean form. He was methodically arranging a bowl and a small cup he must have brought for Eren to eat when he woke up.

               Like a bolt of lightning, Eren sat up immediately, words flying out of his mouth faster than he could think. “Oh, hello Corporal Levi. Thank you very much, but you really shouldn’t trouble yourself. Let me take it.” He was not remotely hungry, but that did not stop Eren from reaching out and grabbing the bowl from Levi’s hands. It was hot to the touch and held some type of creamy broth. He picked up the spoon and swirled the mixture, wondering how put off the Corporal would be if he did not eat the meal he had been kind enough to bring.

               The Corporal stared at him for a moment as he tried to feign hunger with what he could tell was only moderate success before speaking. “Eren,” his voice carried its usual, flat forthrightness, “I know you’re not hungry, but we can’t have you passing out from hunger. You’re sleeping enough as it is. Freaks like you might be able to heal from impalement, but I think starvation would kill you the same as anyone else.” He grabbed the chair on the far side of the desk and drug it towards the edge of the bed. “Mind if I sit with you?”

               Eren knew it was not really a request, more like a polite warning of what was about to happen, but he nodded earnestly all the same. Levi settled himself in the chair, leaning his elbow on the desk and loosely crossing his legs at his ankles.

               They sat in amiable silence as Eren did his best to eat. In between bites, he stole fleeting glances at the Corporal, who never took his gaze away from the setting sun outside. For some reason, sitting beside the Corporal was less embarrassing for Eren than when he thought about the older man alone. He was not sure why, but he felt it had to do with how tense the Corporal always made him feel. It was not a bad feeling, but more of a readiness than anything else.  

               After the darkening shadows in the room had gotten longer and half his bowl had been emptied, Eren decided to open the veins of communication. The Corporal tended to get unusually chatty when he was thought Eren might be upset, so Eren saw his silence as a positive sign. He would choose a safe topic, and even if it was nothing more than small talk, it would be more manageable than dealing with the nameless thing between them that Eren could not stop thinking about.

               “Um, Corporal, I was wondering, how is the investigation coming? Has Annie woken up? Have you and Captain Hanji discovered anything?” _What kind of state are we in where I consider_ these _safe topics._

               The gaze the Corporal turned on him was particularly sharp, and Eren blinked in confusion for a moment. _Did I say something off? Well, he always looks a bit annoyed. Maybe I’m imagining it._

               The Corporal closed his eyes and helped himself to the cup of what Eren presumed was tea. “Everything is going fine, don’t worry about it. I have been wondering though, brat, how are you feeling? A lot has happened recently, and I want you to tell me if you need time to deal with all the new stresses.”

               Eren stared at him quizzically, but the Corporal did not take his eyes from the mug in front of him. His words were odd. It was hard for Eren to pinpoint why, as his tone had been just as calm and conversational as always, but something about the words reminded Eren of when the two of them had been waiting for the others to bring them the news on how to handle their failure of capturing the Female Titan. It was Levi being caring without appearing to be, and just like last time, Eren was happy he could pick up on it.

               Though he could sense it, it did not tell him what the consideration was for. The situation with Annie was stressful, of course, but there was nothing the Corporal could personally do about it. _Could he mean…_

Eren felt his throat close, and he swallowed hard to get rid of the feeling. The warmth he had felt before he went to sleep resurfaced. He shoveled a few more spoon fills of broth into his mouth to hide his sudden nervousness. If he was lucky, Corporal Levi would blame whatever coloring came to his cheeks on the heat of the soup.

               When he caught his breath, he turned towards Levi and spoke with a voice much firmer than how he felt. “It’s stressful, I suppose, but I can handle it.”

               Levi’s response was just as piercing as it was quick. “I can’t try to fix anything if I don’t know what’s wrong with it.”

               Eren hesitated before sighing tiredly. _I should be able to relax when we’re like this, right? Now that we’re…here, wherever here might be. When we’re alone he’s just Levi, isn’t he? The one I know. The one I’m getting to know._ “I mean, I’m happy you, Mikasa and Armin are here looking after me, so that’s calming. It’s just. I don’t know, I’m just a little shook up.” He looked over and for the first time that evening shared a look with Levi’s unreadable eyes. They were the same as always, but Eren could swear that in the burned yellow haze of the fading sunset, they took on a special gentleness he had only seen a grand total of five times. _He’s different here with me, isn’t he?_

               “Well, then, Eren, what will settle you?” The roughly whispered question brought a stronger, much more noticeable heat to Eren’s face that he knew he could not hide. _I shouldn’t be like this,_ he reprimanded himself, but the internal admonishment did nothing to quell his feelings. _What could settle…what could – oh._  

               He had almost missed it. Levi had given him the cue and Eren had almost walked right by it. He was not quite used to recognizing the sudden shift in their dynamics when they were alone, but he sensed it just then. Like curtains drawn aside to let in the daylight, Levi’s innocent inquiry shed their roles as “Corporal” and “soldier” left them with nothing but their names and a small invitation to start back on that special road again. That mysterious path that led somewhere Eren could not fathom and Levi had yet to tell him. On that road, Eren and Levi could say certain things that would be an inconceivable taboo the minute they were in the presence of another person. There, staring at each other in the darkening room with something simmering between them, they stepped into their small hidden world of words, gestures, looks, touches and requests. It was a place Eren liked to think that he and Levi could be themselves, even if it was only for a little while.  

               Words, gestures, looks, touches. Requests. Levi had only ever verbalized one real request during any of their intimate experiences together: their first kiss. Even though he had taken control of it the moment it had begun, Levi had _asked_ Eren for it. Not in the way he had asked to sit down, which was not a request at all. Instead, Levi had asked, passionately but still reservedly, for Eren to give him something that no one would blink at if he had given it to a random fellow female trainee, but would wreck them both should the general populace find out. That one request had been the only one he had ever made, and Eren had given in. He had allowed Levi’s single verbalized request because in that second he fully understand where he had stood with Levi. He had immediately understood that the older man had not only wanted him, but was considerate enough to go at his pace, and that was all the coaxing Eren had needed to nod his head in acceptance.

In a moment of frustrated awareness, Eren realized that the lack of vocalization might have been why Levi has been so firm in going slower than Eren might have lacked. Eren could tell that Levi sometimes still saw him as a teenager, so it stood to reason that the older man chose to read Eren’s head and heart instead of his body in matters of their relationship. Eren had certainly asked Levi for certain things, but it had been with actions instead of clear, distinct words. While in another time the soft breaths and the friction of his clothed body pressed against the other, minutely seeking out a kind of release, would be all the invitation Levi needed, the elder of the two was convinced they were not quite there yet. _Does he think I’m too young? Or that I can’t really be ready because I haven’t actually said anything?_

               Eren gently placed the almost-empty bowl on the desk. He missed its solidity, so he put his right hand under the blanket and gripped the sheets as tightly and inconspicuously as he could. He laid his other hand on the covers, gesturing towards Levi. Miraculously, when he finally managed to speak his voice was just as steady as his eyes. “Will you stay with me tonight, Levi? Here?”

               Something darkened in Levi’s eyes, but Eren could not place the emotion. The intensity was familiar, but it did not stop the narrowed eyes from putting him the slightest bit on edge.

               “You only need me to stay here, right?”

               Eren had absolutely no idea why, but the casual confirmation in the Corporal’s voice disappointed him. He had gotten what he asked for, but was that what he wanted? Of course not, but what he wanted was not in the realm of possibility for him to ask for. It _would_ be very soon, but not then. So, for right then, Eren decided he would make do with the things he _knew_ he could ask for.

                “Yes. If you’re done for the day, that is, I would really like you to stay the night with me. That’s all.” That was not all, not by a long shot, but he was convinced that on some level Levi already knew that.  

               Without a word, the Levi stood up suddenly and made his way to the dresser at the foot of the bed. He flung open the doors and began to riffle through the packs of clothes deep inside. His voice was muffled, but Eren still heard Levi’s admonishing words: “You shouldn’t anchor yourself to things as death-prone as people, brat.”

               Objectively, he was right, but Eren chose to immediately disregard the Corporal’s advice. It had never been confirmed with spoken words, but Eren knew he was allowed to be vulnerable and childishly selfish in the private space they shared. He had made a request, and he knew he would make another before the night was over, but a part of him felt that was alright. So long as Levi fulfilled them, it was alright.

               Levi pulled out what looked like, in the shifting shadows, to be a mound of blankets. He made a quick detour to make sure the door to the room was locked before going back to the bed and dumping the covers all over Eren.

               He began to undress himself for sleep, quickly and efficiently unbuckling the straps of his maneuver gear. Eren busied himself with arranging the blankets in an attempt to ignore the sight. Levi had very bluntly teased the first and only time Eren had watched him undress, and Eren was in no mood to repeat the event.

               “Do we really need all of these?”

“Winter’s almost here,” Levi said offhandedly, stepping out of the gear straps and dropping them on the chair, “body heat is nice, but it still gets cold at night.” He tossed his cravat on top of the gear and pulled off his boots with the same fluidity as he had with the gear.

               All too suddenly, Levi was clothed in only his pants and shirt with the top two buttons undone. With the same about of proficiency he had displayed while disrobing, he pulled back the covers and gestured for Eren to scoot forward. The brunette complied, and Levi piled up the pillows before carefully sliding in behind Eren, his legs on either side of the youth’s body. His hands traveled forward and glided across Eren’s sides before gently pulling the younger man towards himself.

               While Levi seemed to sit comfortably in the position, it was a perilous and oddly vulnerable situation for Eren. Much like lying on a slope, any extreme movement on his part would make him slip down on his back or topple over to the side. He sat quite still, his head leaned back against Levi’s chest. He chose to trust the Corporal to hold him close and not let him fall.  

               Small precautions aside, it was still an odd sitting arrangement for a bed. Eren felt that it could not be remotely comfortable for the Corporal to sleep in such a way, but Levi had always silently insisted on it. What made it stranger was the simple fact that the bed was the only place Levi liked being near him in the position. A part of Eren felt that it had to do with their height difference, but a much larger, more disbelieving part of himself felt that the Corporal was far too mature to worry about something so silly. _It’s probably just a habit or something – something someone must have done for him._ He wondered if he should ask the Corporal, but it seemed like such an insignificant thing to ruin the moment with. He would ask another time, perhaps later. They had time, after all. It was limited, but they still had it.

               Eren was pulled out of his musings by the renewed feelings of the Corporal’s hands on his body.  He could not help but notice that they were much stronger than the older man’s teacup-handling techniques would suggest. Smooth, agile and sure, the warm palms of Levi’s hands ran down Eren’s sides before slowly cutting across his chest. They skirted across his sensitive areas in movements that could only be called fleeting, but it made no difference to Eren’s nerves. The touches stopped up his throat once again and made him hyperaware of how the Corporal moved. The Corporal’s fingers curled, gripping him firmly, and coaxed Eren backwards. He obliged quickly, placing his hands on the Corporal’s raised knees for minor leverage. At his back, he could clearly feel the flowing texture of Levi’s shirt and the taunt muscles underneath. Levi’s arms felt strong and confident as they wrapped around his body, giving off the unfamiliar but not unwelcome heat of another’s body twining with his own.

               The fingers around his frame tightened momentarily, and to his right Eren heard the soft brush of Levi’s hair against his own. The close proximity of another warm individual amplified his blood pressure and the cruelly hot words Levi breathed against his ear did nothing for Eren’s growing predicament.

               “Eren,” at the sound of the slow, measured drawl of his name, Eren frowned quickly and cursed Levi for being so unfair. “Pull up the covers.”

               No, he most certainly was not playing fair. That tone of voice for such a menial command was not fair. It was not fair that for a moment Eren had to fight down the sharp, sudden spark of arousal that sent a strong, heated pulse below his pants. It was not fair because he was more than sure Levi was taking some kind of cruel, unattached pleasure in once again rousing a problem Eren could not yet request him to help with. So far they had answered each other’s requests in the special space they shared, and Eren would not risk asking something Levi felt he could not yet give.

               Steeling himself against feelings that would surely drive him into despair, Eren reached for the extra blankets and pulled them up closer to his chest and over the Corporal’s legs. The heat was suddenly overwhelming. Eren had trouble differentiating the heat from the blankets from the rising temperature of his own body to that of the body behind him, but he was sure he could have figured it out if Levi’s breath had not still been traveling down the curve of his neck.

               The extra closeness was unnecessary and exceedingly embarrassing for him. Eren did not want the Corporal to move, but something had to be done about the breaths that should have cooled his skin, but only succeeded in making Eren want to pull the Levi’s head down closer and beg for things he was not quite sure he could have. He wanted the Corporal to kiss skin other than his lips. He wanted the Corporal to mark his trail of breaths with warm kisses. He wanted Levi’s hands to mimic the action by tracing lines of loving fire across Eren’s body. He wanted vague, abstract things he could not put into words but felt in the veins of his heart. He wanted specific things like Levi’s mouth on his body and his hands in his hair. He wanted Levi. With each new thought, the same heated pulse went through Eren’s body again and again and at that point there was nothing that could conceal the deepening blush spreading across his face.

               Levi needed to move. Eren was not sure how he could articulate the wish, but he had to. He was having difficulty breathing and the heat was making his head feel light. Levi had to move or he was bound to ruin the space they had made with each other.

               He turned his head to the right, but before he could utter the Corporal’s name in a voice that might have been more pleading than he would have liked, Levi spoke first.

               “How do you feel now?” It was a whispered plea that masqueraded itself beautifully as a quiet question.

               How did he feel? How _did_ he feel? He felt hot and more than a little frustrated, for sure, but he felt other things as well. He felt the suffocating sadness he had plagued himself with over the past week dissipating. Its shadow still lingered, and it would take much more than a tender hold to make it go away forever, but Eren was not one to be crushed by a heavy heart. He felt at ease, resting in Levi’s arms. He felt safe, cradled in the arms of humanity’s strongest soldier. He felt warmth, care, and somewhere inside of him he felt something deep and strong and true that he could not pinpoint, but liked the feeling of nonetheless.

               Mostly, though, Eren felt full of everything he had rarely ever been aware he wanted. He felt everything, and in the midst of all the easiness, the safety, the heated frustration, and the deep feeling it would take years for him to truly acknowledge let alone confess, he felt a contentedness akin to happiness. He felt the thing he had spent pondering the validity of ever since he had seen Annie transform. Eren was not sure whether experiencing it again so intensely confirmed his thoughts that it did not exist and he was deluding himself, or restored his hope that it was an attainable existence, but he chose not to think about it. Perhaps idealizing the feeling would break him later when – if – the road he and Levi were taking did not lead them anywhere pleasant. Perhaps, but Eren had learned too much in the past few weeks to not take the wonderful journey that had been offered to him.

               It might have been considered selfish to indulge himself in another request, but that did not stop Eren from reaching up and brushing his fingers along Levi’s face and the tips of his bangs. He slid his hand back and ran his fingers along the back of the Corporal’s undercut to rest in his surprisingly soft night black hair. Levi looked up, and Eren could just make out his darkened eyes in the shadows the starlight painted on the side of his face.

               Eren paused as he looked directly into the evidence of something he had known for a long while. _I don’t think Levi is really that complex. Everything you want to know is there. You have to look, but its right there._

               “Levi,” _This is just like the second time._ It was just like the time when nothing but hot breaths had separated their craving mouths from reach each other. It was the first time when Eren’s body had known it needed something from Levi, but his mind had been unsure of what that need was. He was still not entirely sure, but he had a much better idea of what it was, and he was determined not to repeat the second time.

_I feel good, Levi. I feel relaxed. I feel comforted. I feel it, I feel –_

               There was everything to say. There was everything to say to correct the “nothing” they were, but Eren settled for a murmured, “ _Thank you._ ”

               He put his left hand on Levi’s thigh, and pushed himself up gradually. He watched Levi’s eyes as he moved forward, sifting through the murky confusion at his response for a hint of resistance. “Levi,” he exhaled gently, “can we do this? Just this, right now?”

               There was a sudden change in Levi’s eyes, but before Eren could decipher what it was, his movements were stopped by a mouth that could not yet be called familiar pressing against his own. Anyone else, especially anyone else with as little experience as Eren had, would have cowed under Levi’s advance. They would have allowed him unequivocal command of the situation, and while Eren let Levi lead the kiss, he was not, nor did he ever plan to be, a passive partner. He had been given the highest marks possible for initiative as a trainee for a reason, after all.

               He pushed himself up farther and tilted his head to the side.  Kissing was meant to be done with eyes closed, but Eren had always felt blind and just a little bit lost relying on the small bit of skin to skin contact their lips allowed. He gripped Levi’s thigh tighter and twisted his torso as best he could to get more access. Levi did not stop him, but loosened his arms just enough to allow Eren to move before pulling him close once again.

               After a time that Eren personally felt was far too short, they broke off for breath. In the lapse, Eren could not only hear his own panting, but Levi’s as well. It was much more composed than his, but the quiet sounds sent more quick-fire pulses through Eren’s groin. The kissing was not enough, not nearly enough, but it would do for now.

               What little control he had clamped down on his urges rocked at the feeling of Levi moving forward and placing a hot, wet kiss at the juncture of his jaw and neck. An odd but entirely pleasant mixture of electric chills shot through his body, and he felt his head tilt back in pleasure and further invitation. A small but audible, absolutely mortifying moan escaped Eren’s mouth. It was very quickly followed by four sharp, staccato pants at the feel of Levi trailing kisses down the heated skin of his neck. Eren felt something in his chest that needed to come out, and the beginning of a frustrated growl was abruptly cut off by Levi pulling his head down and once again covering his mouth with his lips.   

               The kisses they shared that night, which remained just that, were only the outermost shell of the things Eren wanted from Levi. He wanted things it would realistically take him months, if not years, to ask for, but so long as he kept timing them correctly, he could get them all, even the things he had yet to know he wanted. Levi would fulfill them all, and Eren would do everything Levi asked in turn. In the meantime, he would enjoy the kisses, and the heat, and the urgency for what they were. There was more to come, but he liked the present space they resided in just fine. There was comfort there, and somewhere in the night Eren decided that he would be fine so long as Levi was the one to give him that feeling without a request as a prerequisite. Only him. Until the end of the road, it would only be him. 

**Author's Note:**

> I realized while writing this that in all the years I've been writing I've never actually written people kissing before, let alone something like this. So, thanks for reading my debut to the world of writing make out scenes! Hopefully it was alright!


End file.
